With the month of February coming to a close, I wanted to touch on self love during the month of love. I know some people love Valentine’s day and some people think it’s just a commercialized holiday, but whatever camp you are in, I think we can all agree that the world needs more love. There are many different kinds of love or ways to express love, but I want to address one kind that may be missing or lacking for you…and that is self-love. You may be thinking, “um that sounds like a super selfish term, why would I want to focus on that?” Webster’s dictionary defines self-love as ‘regards for one’s own happiness’. We want our loved ones to be happy and fulfilled so why can’t we want that for ourselves? Self-love, and ways to express it, may be different for everyone. Let’s take a deeper look at ways we can learn to show ourselves a little more love.
Lesson 1: Be Content with Where You Are At
Let’s say you’ve been working hard to get to your goal weight but aren’t seeing the results you want as fast as you had hoped. You adjusted your nutrition, you’re staying consistent, but the results you see in the mirror are not what you are hoping for. How many of us look in the mirror each morning and find something to criticize? Now think about this…the negative words you have to say about your own body or the internal dialogue you use…would you ever say that to another person about their body? Absolutely not! The way you talk to yourself can affect your stress response and inflammation, meaning that your body will literally have a negative reaction to your negative thoughts. So what I am proposing is this, try to be content with where your body is currently at, and celebrate it. Maybe you recently had a baby and aren’t back to your pre-baby weight, but you just had a baby…and your body made another human, how amazing is that! Maybe you’ve lost a lot of weight but still have more to lose, celebrate how far you have come! Or maybe you have been consistently going to the gym and crushing workouts , rather than focusing on what your body looks like, celebrate what your body can accomplish. I could use many more examples but what this lesson in self-love boils down to …love your body in every stage . You only get one body in this life, be kind to it.
Lesson 2: Celebrate Gym Wins
Comparison is the thief of joy. We’ve all heard this statement, yet many of us continue to compare our progress in the gym to others. Have you hit a PR only to look over and see someone lift 15 more pounds than you, and then feel disappointment rather than excitement? Or have you had to scale a workout when it seems that everyone around you doesn’t need to? Believe me, I’ve been there too. But while initially, comparison may motivate you to be better, it’s not healthy in the long run. Remember those negative thoughts I talked about in lesson one? Those can be quite prevalent in the gym as well. I had a wise coach tell me once, you need to stay in your lane, meaning that your journey is your own. Your progress cannot be measured against anyone else’s, because it’s your journey. One way to show self-love in the gym is to celebrate your progress in the gym. The only comparisons you should be making are to your previous self. Think back to three months ago, what were you able to do compared to now…I can bet you’ve made progress in a movement, gotten stronger, or gained more aerobic capacity. It’s always helpful to look back at where you started, to where you are now to help keep a positive perspective. How about when you have a bad day in the gym? Because yes, those happen. After your workout, try to find one positive thing about your session. Some days it could be as simple as, ‘I showed up’, and that’s fine! We aren’t going to feel like rock stars every workout. But if we keep showing up, and showing ourselves some love progress is going to be made in the long run.
Lesson 3: Slow it Down
Sometimes life can feel like it’s pulling us in so many directions. We have work, families, and weekend obligations all on top of trying to stay fit and healthy. Often times we feel completely drained at the end of the week. Take this analogy as an example; ‘if our cup is empty, how can we expect to pour into and fill up other people’s cups?’ Meaning, if you are not able to meet your own personal needs, how can you expect to be fully present with the needs of others as well. I emphasize self-love with all my clients. You may be crushing it in the gym, hitting your macros 100%, but if you are stressed out beyond belief…you will not see the results you are maybe hoping for. Some examples of self-love that I often recommend: schedule a day where you have nothing planned, mark that day on your calendar and plan a home day to relax. If a full day is not reasonable, give yourself an hour of alone time, go for a walk, take an Epsom salt bath, unplug from your phone and read. Treat yourself to a manicure or go sit at a fun coffee shop. Performing some method of self-care each week will help keep stress levels in check. Slowing it down and taking a step back and finding a way to “fill your cup” and is an awesome way to show some self-love.
Most of these lessons stem from changing your mindset about how you view yourself. Positive thinking or self-talk can really help with overall wellness. It won’t happen overnight, but like exercise, it will become easier or more natural over time. Self-love is really all about how you treat yourself, whether that is being more kind to your body, celebrating wins in the gym, or taking some ‘you’ time. All these methods will help lead to a more healthy you!