There are plenty of people who talk about the importance of why, and then there are those who show you their how.
Society has applied its norms to the methods in which we are demonstrating our commitment to “how”. We, who are prone to (accidentally) pass judgment upon others, evaluate someone’s exemplification of “how”, based on our snap-decisions.
We look up to those who lead. We look down upon those who stand at the street corners, begging for spare change.
The challenge is in discerning who is flashy and portrays what we identify as successful and who does whatever it takes to feed their families.
The adage of “don’t judge a book by its cover” couldn’t read any truer in such cases. We simply do not know until we ask.
I’m not advocating that you immediately pull over and interrogate the person at the intersection of their personal story, their motivations, and whether panhandling is the best they can do. Or to alienate someone with a tailored suit and high-end vehicle by questioning whether they deserve what they have and what their motivation is to have what they show us.
What do these two extremes have in common? Both are displaying an existence that we cannot immediately relate to because we don’t know enough about the individual in question. We don’t know their circumstances. We don’t know what drives them.
They are strangers. We have no clue.
Let’s look closer to home. Who inspires you and who do you dread having to share the table with at the next family function? Who makes you want to be a better man (nod to Jack Nicholson) and who makes you want to rip your hair out.
In general, most people speak about their “why”. Their motivation. “Why” they were doing something. Just spend some time actively listening when you’re sitting at the dinner table. You’ll find that most people preface their actions with their “why” and then proceed to tell us about the outcome.
What matters to the listener, though, is the ‘how’. How did you go about it? What were the obstacles? How did you overcome them?
Your “why” is intrinsic.
Your “how” is extrinsic.
Passing the puck to you. I’m not asking for your ‘why’, I’m asking in which manner you show your ‘how’.
Inevitably, people look to you. What they are you looking to you for, that’s the interesting question. Are they looking to you for inspiration because your actions make them aspire to become better versions of themselves, or are your actions showing them that they’d rather never be like you?
Doesn’t the same apply to you? You look to others for inspiration or to frame that you ‘never want to be like that’!
You hold incredible power in your grasp. The power to motivate others by your actions, or the power to show someone who they do not want to become.
Which power position makes you feel better?
The question in itself is blatantly rhetorical in nature. 99.9% of all rational individuals want the positive power position. The .01% are the ones we haven’t met yet. Thankfully.
What are you doing with your power position? How are you inspiring others?
The common misconception is that only celebrities can inspire. While the truth is that we find inspiration on a micro level. When we look at our friends and we see their transformations. When we see them rise in ranks. When they upgrade their life, lifestyle and life’s circumstances. We follow them. We are inspired by their ‘how’.
We start to emulate what they are doing. Oftentimes, this cannot be done by following their professional footsteps, unless you have identical careers. However, it can be accomplished with actions that are within your control.
Your health. Your fitness. Your loss in body fat percentage. Your increase in energy. All these are items that show your commitment to your why, expressed through your ‘how’.
Greg Glassman, the founder of CrossFit, once said that your commitment to fitness will lead to three improvements in your life: relationship, career, and self-confidence.
These are three tangents that can be seen, felt and observed and through that, exemplify your ‘how’. By extension, if anyone were to inquire about your how, you can explain your process.
There are no secrets, but simple patterns of passion to believe in your own journey, the perseverance to see it through every day, and the grit to not give up. That becomes especially valuable on the days when you simply don’t feel like it.